House Pictures

When I say I have been working hard and that I have a lot of work left to do, I mean it. Here is some "before" pictures of my house. If I ever get to the "after" I will post those pictures to. The pictures are backwards from the order I meant them to be in, Flikr posted them that way.

Kitchen Floor

Kitchen Floor,
originally uploaded by SassyNurse.

This is the result of rats behind the kitchen cabinets. The stuff is at least 4 inches thick.

Kitchen Now

Kitchen Now,
originally uploaded by SassyNurse.

The kitchen after we pulled all the cabinets down.

Master Bedroom Floor

Master Bedroom Floor,
originally uploaded by SassyNurse.

The master bedroom, next to the main bathroom floor is also water damaged as you can see.

Main Bathroom

Main Bathroom,
originally uploaded by SassyNurse.

This one is not quite as bad as the first one, however it smells just as bad. The entire floor is so waterdamaged that the floor would likely fall through with much weight.

Small Bathroom Toilet

Small Bathroom Toilet,
originally uploaded by SassyNurse.

You would think that this house had been abandoned for quite sometime. The truth is, it was only empty about six months. I don't know who would sit down on that thing.

Small Bathroom

Small Bathroom,
originally uploaded by SassyNurse.

Here is the small bathroom. I havn't got the courage to actully go into it yet. The smell is bad enough, I really don't want to know whats lurking in there.

My Kitchen

My Kitchen,
originally uploaded by SassyNurse.

Here is is my little kitchen. The picture does not show how bad it really is.

Iraq's Unseen War

These photos give you a glimpse into the real war, the one that isn't played out over and over on tv. I am in the middle on the war, while I believe that since it is started it cannot be stopped all of a sudden, but we shouldn't have went to war in the first place. With all of our intelligence and technology the US cannot find Bin Laden dragging his dialysis machine through the desert, but they can find two pot plants growing on somebodys two acres. (I heard that somewhere can't remember where, but I really thought it summed things up)

These photos are pretty graphic so if you don't like that kind of stuff then don't visit this site.
Here it is.

I own a house!

I have finally become a full fledged adult and bought my first house! I closed on Wednesday and let out a sigh of relief with it being over. I have experienced a list of emotions with this whole house deal, the anxiety has since been replaced by an overwhelmed feeling. As I stood in my front “lawn” that could adequately could be described as a forest, the knowledge of all the work ahead hit me like a rock. Entering the back yard was more overwhelming as I observed that the forest gives way to a large tangled jungle. We tackled the forest today and did quite well until my fiancée mowed down a basketball left behind by the previous obvious non owning mower family. If updates are few in this thing, just know I am slowly working my way out of my jungle.

The arguing and bickering between me and my fiancé is beginning as we argue the best way to start, where to spend how much where etc. Not too mention that he believes that he can finish the entire job in a week. I know it will be a month at the least but you cannot convince a man of this.

On top of it all, though I am extremely excited. The work is only a small price to pay.

Retail Therapy

Retail Therapy, is probably not the most effective form of therapy, but its effects are almost effective. I don’t use it often, I have learned restraint from spending money on things I do not need. But every once and awhile it does feel good. I splurged on myself for a whole eighteen dollars and bought myself a wonderfully cute pair of pajamas. As I sit here typing in front of the ac (Indiana’s humidity is awful, something I have not quite ever readjusted to since living in California’s dry desert heat) I feel pretty happy wearing my new pajamas.

Work was a little different tonight as I kept expecting to run into the employee that passed away. The work staff is cut in half on the weekends, and she happened to be on my weekend. I found myself thinking gee I haven’t even run into…then I remembered that I won’t anymore. Sometimes I don’t feel human when it comes to death. Maybe all nurses have developed this numbing put it in the back of your mind, I just can’t let myself really care attitude about it. I feel shameful not being upset when someone passes away. But I guess it is a good thing that I have been able to do that, at least I can hold it together to inform families of a relative’s death. I have found that the joy and worth of the person’s life is what I remember anyway, not the fact that they died. That attitude is easy to take on when you work with geriatric patients. But it is different when it is someone who expected to go home, sleep and come back to work tomorrow.

Have you ever wanted to go somewhere that is completely off limits to the public so bad that you tell yourself that one day you will no matter what? Oh you don’t, sorry I guess I am a little crazy! Lol. I have a hobby that most people would find weird, crazy, nutso or just plain stupid. I like to “ghost hunt”. For those of you that did not close my blog at this point, let me explain. Ghost hunting is not like “ghostbusters”. I don’t have a particle buster and I do not drive an “Ectomobile”.  But on occasion you might find me and a group of friends in a rumored haunted place just being nosey. Basically we go to a place that is supposedly haunted, and see if we see or hear anything. This hobby all started innocently enough. As of date, all the rumored haunted places are just rumors. We have never encountered a ghost, we have had a couple weird experiences though. It is simply just something to do, to be out and about with friends and who knows maybe one of these days we will see a ghost. However one of the most interestingly rumored haunted places is Waverly Hills TB Sanatorium in Louisville, Ky. There have been many reports of the haunting (just type into the name into google and you will find plenty of them) and unfortunately it is private property. Private property with security twenty four hours a day. But I have been given an opportunity to explore the old Sanatorium with a ghost group from OH. My excitement has been given a quick kick in the ass though; it is scheduled for my weekend to work. Getting a day off on your weekend to work is almost impossible. I will have to work this out.

So if anybody else might be interested in this type of activity, feel free to visit my ghost website. It's Here.If your interested or if you just want to go visit to check out my sanity level.

Life Cycles

I got the news today that a co-worker passed away this morning. I have been a little shocked since. At 57, she was not young, but she defiantly wasn’t old. Her death has made me realize today that you cannot count on being here tomorrow. We spend all of our days working long hours and neglecting things we should not just to make a few more bucks to put in the bank. We save for retirement because we need to, but we forget we may not live until retirement. Maybe a little of those savings can be used now. We could take a vacation with our families and friends or take a day off from work to spend some time doing the things we put off until tomorrow or next year. It doesn’t seem fair when someone that is caring, good and loving is taken from the world that we know.  I often wonder why it is that the “good ones” are taken and the child molesters are left behind. But then I realize that this is the cycle of life and no matter how shocking or upsetting it is, we have no control over it. Acceptance of it seems impossible but somehow we have to accept what we cannot change. The last thing she said to me was this: “Well I will see you later, maybe one day I will win the lottery, so I can work only when I want to!” “Me to”, I said. “Goodnight.”  Her words are a little haunting to me now, maybe she did win her lottery? R.I.P. our friend.

Fulfilled

Wow! Now you can use Microsofts Word to publish your blogger pages, neat.

In other news, I realized today that I was smiling for no apparent reason. Maybe I have finally found the right medication for my depression. I have been depressed for about 8 years now. I have tried various medications that I would take for a while and then eventually stop taking them. Most likely due to the fact that I could not tell much difference in my moods. Not too mention that most antidepressants are loaded with side effects. The first day I started this new medicine I could tell a difference. I know you are not supposed to feel a difference, but I swear I did. At about two hours after the first dose, I felt a heavy fog (the best way to put it into words) lift off of me. Now that I am into the sixth week of therapy when the medicine is supposed to be fully in effect, I know that it is working. My boyfriend also noticed the difference; he told me so tonight when I relayed to him that for the first time in years I feel happy and fulfilled. Fulfilled is never a word that has come to my mind when I would try to describe my life.

I hate Goodbyes...

Today has been a little sad. My "little" brother set off for some kind of police training camp. I guess you do not consider 20 little anymore but even though we are not that far apart in age, he is still my little brother. It is weird how when I know he is not coming home I get depressed a little. It is different when he is at a friends over night or something, he will be home tomorrow. I shouldn't be the way I am over him. Maybe it is because he spent so much of his life sick that I feel over protective. At some point there we actually thought that he might not come home from the hospital. I think the thought of losing him made me realize how lucky I was when I didn't.

I bought Stephen Kings Rose Red tonight because it was only 5$ and it looks scary enough. Seeing as I am so obsessed with ghosts, paranormal etc. I love scary ghostly movies. It would be better if it were true though. Although I was reading that Stephen King based the story on the long rumored haunted Winchester Mansionin San Jose, California. He first saw the story of the house in one of the Ripley's Believe it or Not comics when he was a kid and remembered it for years after. According to Believe it or Not, Oliver Winchester, who invented the famous repeating rifle that won the west, left a daughter-in-law with a belief in Spiritualism when he went to his reward. At one seance, Sarah Winchester asked the medium, When will I die? The medium replied, When your house is done. The Winchester house was never really completed and construction continued on it around the clock until Sarah Winchester died. (from Prairie Ghosts) So I hope it scares me just a little. I don't get scared too easily though.

If your into ghost stories I do recommend Unsolved Mysteries Ghosts. I watched it like a crazy person in my dark bedroom right before bed, and it was a little hard to fall asleep after some of the stories. The renactments of the stories is very realistic and their ghosts look too real. Of course I am not trying to sell anything here! lol

mindless ramblings

When you live in an area that is often associated with redneck, hillbilly behaviors you automatically pick up on those behaviors. Mostly rural areas all probably suffer from this stereotype, some places more then others. On occasion you see situations in these areas that make you realize where those stereotypes come from.

It must be the in thing to do around here, but you can hardly drive through town without seeing several teens driving around in their trucks with their four wheelers strapped in the back. I just don’t get that.

While living in California I was asked constantly where I was from because of my country accent. I was never more embarrassed then when we were at the grocery store and my mother asked a clerk where the “taters” were. I will never forget the look on the clerks face or the people in line to checkout when my mother was asked to repeat it over and over again because no one knew what it was she was talking about. I finally asked for her where the potatoes were for my question to be followed by laughter from the clerk and the people in line. She laughed to, not because she found what she said funny, but because the people there didn’t know what a “tater” was. She then also informed them that they probably didn’t know what a “mater” was either. She was finding some kind of enjoyment teaching those Californians what us country people call tomatoes. I wanted to fall right through the floor, or be abducted by aliens at that very minute. I was thirteen and self conscious enough.

My years in California must have eventually weakened my country accent enough, because by the time we moved back to Indiana I was never asked where it was that I was from. I entered the local highschool and immediately became aware of how bad and almost unintelligible our accent was. I no longer had the accent myself, but I sure could hear everyone elses. It was so bad at times that I would cover my ears and put my head down to try and escape the unintelligible chatter around me. The funniest thing to me was when the kids around me would use the popular slang words. Such as “that’s cool!” Or even swear words. I always wondered if they knew how stupid they sounded.

Last night we were at Taco Bell and there was a group of teenagers in the parking lot. We watched this circus show and laughed heartily at how most of them were dressed in what I would call rappers clothing. As this group of white kids called each other “nigga” and “dawg” with their country accents I once again wondered if they knew how stupid they sounded.

There really is no point to this post, just call it .

StumbleUpon

I have entertained myself for the last few hours with StumbleUpon. I should find myself something more constructive to do with my time, but not only is it entertaining but easily addictive. I can't wait to see the next site brought up for my pleasure!